Evan's Story, Ch 1, Diagnosis and Decision

Diagnosis and Decision

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3-5, 6

   In the spring of 1987, I was on top of the world. I had a beautiful wife, Cindy, and five great kids. David was ten, April was turning eight, John was seven, Katie was five, and Rachel was three. Cindy was pregnant with our sixth child, as yet unnamed. Work was challenging, but paid well. I was enjoying my service in the church.

   It started the day after Easter. A recently developed blood test had been performed on Cindy’s blood. The results were positive on the high side. Dr. Callahan, Cindy’s OB/GYN, explained that this result could mean a birth defect called Spina Bifida. This test had a history of 5 per cent false positives. That is, nothing is really wrong. The actual occurrence of Spina Bifida was only one out of a thousand. He assured us that the odds were in favor of a false positive, but he strongly recommended that we travel to the Los Angeles area for a sonogram and possible test on the amniotic fluid. We reluctantly agreed and made an appointment with the Genetics Institute in Pasadena. We also accepted some informational material about this birth defect. I learned more about this crippling birth defect than I cared to know.

   Our plan was to go to Pasadena, find out nothing was wrong and drive twenty-five more miles to visit my parents. On a Friday morning, Cindy was on the examination table for the sonogram. The images on the television screen were meaningless to me, but I watched carefully. As the doctor studied the image, he grew very silent. I commented to the nurse that I didn’t understand what I was seeing. The doctor apologized and said he was looking at the head. He then fell silent again. We couldn’t see his face, but I did not like his demeanor. He was taking snapshots of the screen display in a manner that suggested something was terribly wrong.

   He finally faced us and said, “I do not like what I see. There are indications of an opening low in the spine. Hydrocephalus, or water on the brain, is also present. I recommend that we do an amniocentesis to confirm my diagnosis.” A needle was then inserted into Cindy’s womb and a small sample of amniotic fluid was taken. God only knows too well how I wished that doctor was wrong.

   We were so stunned and so depressed, that we just headed home. It was a long three and half hour drive. We then waited ten days for the other test results. I was home when Cindy took the call. It was confirmed that the baby had spina bifida. Cindy took it hard, bursting into tears. I was expecting it, and remained the strong one.

   While all of this was going on, the power plant was in an outage. I was working from 2 pm until midnight, almost every day. I had not been seeing much of my three oldest children. I did explain what had happened to my immediate supervisor. I was assured that the company would provide me with as much support as they could.

   Meanwhile, the outpouring of support from the church and most people in the community was a big support to us. One problem though, most people tended to worry more about Cindy than me. It was as if men are supposed to be stronger or something.

   Two weeks after the initial diagnosis, I was off work on the weekend. I knew I had to talk to somebody. I had asked my home Teacher, Scott Justus, and the Elder’s Quorum President, Jim Tringham, to visit on Sunday. Saturday was going to be a family day. We went to the Atascadero Zoo and then for a beautiful drive along the coast. But then I started to feel very tired. Cindy drove the last thirty miles home. After dinner, I felt worse. I was more tired, my head hurt, and I was very depressed. I went to my bed and cried uncontrollably. Cindy asked me if I was okay. I truthfully told her no. It was Cindy’s turn to be the strong one and my turn to be an emotional wreck.

   Cindy could neither contact Scott Justus nor Jim Tringham, but she did contact Jim Bigelow and Gary Davis. Gary was a counselor in the Bishopric. Jim was a family friend who was called as Bishop a few days later. He is still a family friend.  Both Cindy and I received Priesthood blessings.  We were told some things about this trial. I felt a little better afterwards.

   We were told that the baby was going to be a boy. After a few days, Cindy talked me into naming the baby Evan Neil Price. Evan means “challenger” and Neal means “champion.” We even entered his name in our Book of Remembrance, our family record. We asked our children to remember the baby in their prayers. They all did. Their prayers were more meaningful for it. We also called the Los Angeles Temple and put his name on the Prayer List. As part of the temple ceremony, the Temple attendees pray for all of those on the Prayer List.

   Three weeks later, we were in Pasadena again. We were seeing a different doctor, Dr. Devore, who told us he was an LDS Bishop. We thought we were prepared for the worst, but it was worse. The sonogram showed that the hydrocephalus was getting worse. At this stage, brain damage was quite possible. The defect on the spine was quite large. He then privately asked if we had considered an abortion.

   We were stunned. We had never considered it because of our religious beliefs. But he explained that this situation was beyond the church guidelines on the matter. In fact, he was working with the Church to get some clarification. He also admitted that he didn’t know what he would do in our situation. We had to admit that he was correct. He emphasized that we needed to pray about it, and counsel with our Bishop and other church leaders. But above all, it must be our decision. 

   We had already planned on attending the Los Angeles Temple on the day after. We resolved to pray about it there, in the Celestial Room. We wanted a quiet and reverent place. Neither Cindy nor I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. But I did not want to be wrong. Once in the Celestial Room, we picked a couch in a corner. It was very peaceful. There were only three other people in the room, but they were far enough away that we felt alone. Cindy was looking very sad. I suppose I was too. We got onto our knees, her hand in mine, and started to pray with more fervor than at any time of our lives. We asked if it was right to keep the baby. God answered my prayers.

   I received these words coming to my mind. “I know how you feel. I felt the same way when my Son died in agony on the cross.”

   “Keep the child until I call him home. He will be one of my great ones.”

   “You will find that you will love your sixth one more than your other five, just as Jacob loved Joseph. Not that the other five are not righteous, because they are righteous. You will find that they will love your little brother more than you thought possible.”

   Still realizing that this trial would be difficult, I pleaded with Heavenly Father to give me the strength to deal with this trial. His immediate response was, “I already have. But you will have to rely on your friends in the Church, in the community, and on your family.”