How to shop like a man

How to Shop Like a Man

Men and Women shop differently. Since I am retired, it is my privilege to shop with my wife more frequently and to note these differences. When I go shopping, I like to go into the store, find the item I want, put it in my shopping cart and immediately head for the checkout stand. My wife likes to go into the store, find what she’s looking for, and then browse around looking for other items to spend my hard earned money on. Fortunately, she is something of a cheapskate, so she doesn’t usually overdo it. That’s why I love her so much.

Once, my wife dragged me to the store to shop for a birthday present. The birthday boy was turning two years old and he is one of our grandsons. While she was browsing through the cute little boy outfits, I saw a perfect present for our daughter’s little boy, a noisy telephone toy with all kinds of bells and whistles and lights. It was in the shopping cart before my wife chose an outfit.

When another grandson was the birthday boy, my wife dragged me to the store again, with similar results. I sought out the famous push toy that makes the annoying popping sound. She could buy the kid all the clothes she wanted, but he was also getting that popcorn popper.

When it was time to purchase a new television, I wanted to shop for the new electronic gismo the man’s way. I decided we should buy a “Smart” TV. An old dumb one just would not be sufficient for a grandma and grandpa trying to transition from the twentieth century to the twenty-first.

I went to a few stores by myself. I found a “smart” TV that was just the size we wanted. It was a little bit more expensive than the same sized dumb TV, but it was two to three hundred dollars less expensive than the other “Smart” televisions that were on display. The next step was to return to the store with my wife and show her the good deal I found. She was impressed by my bargain hunting ability and agreed the displayed TV was just the thing for our humble abode. We waited until we had the attention of a sales clerk and I went into action.

I pointed at the display and said, “I want to buy that TV.” Yes, that is how a man shops.

“Okay, let me see if we have it in stock.” After checking his computer, he mumbles something unintelligible and says, “Come this way, please.” He then starts to show us how to use one of the other smart televisions for sale.

“Why are you showing us this one? We want that other one.”

“Oh, that one is out of stock.” What he didn’t say was, “I’m pulling a bait and switch and trying to sell you a more expensive model.”

“No thank you,” we said, and left the store. We found the same television at another store, for the same price no less.

With the second sales clerk by my side, I point to the television and say, “I want to buy that TV.” Yes, I think to myself, this is how a man shops.

“Oh,” he says, “That television is out of stock.”

We did some research on the Internet and discovered that the “good deal” model is no longer being manufactured.

When in this quandary, the intelligent Man shopper will implement my second rule of shopping, “When you don’t know what you are doing, ask questions.” I actually do this all the time when I shop at the local hardware store. I often don’t know exactly what I want, but the hardware sales staff is always helpful. Besides, it’s always a Man thing to shop at the hardware store.

So I pretend I am in a hardware store, rather than a big box electronic store. I start to ask questions. It turns out that we could purchase a dumb TV and a “Smart” blue ray player. By connecting the “Smart” device to the television, we get a “Smart” TV as well as a new Blue-Ray CD player, for about the same amount of money as the purchase price of my original “good deal” find.

We made our purchase, and after some false starts, we get our brand new, up to date, entertainment system to work. When our daughter came to visit with her sons, she made sure she brought her son’s popcorn popper push-toy. I don’t know why.